666 (Beware the End Is at Hand)

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666

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Top-tier Nigerian B-movie directed by a pastor with highlights that include the gory removal of a fetus from a pregnant woman, a prostitute paid to lick a nasty scab, a devil baby with horns, gay rape and much more. All with typically shoddy Nollywood FX, hilariously energetic acting and heavy-handed religious propaganda. The best characters in the movie are a priest who enthusiastically spreads the word of god on the street in lengthy sequences, and a devil child (the horned baby eight years later) who crawls through the ground and terrorizes random civilians. If you love terrible movies you must watch this at least once. The second part is worth a watch as well and features several scenes that easily outdo this chapter in terms of sheer insanity. Unfortunately, it features too many boring sermons and prayer scenes, and a new pastor who lacks the entertaining energy of the previous. Watching relatively normal sermons isn't as funny as watching a priest yell about God in a bar and bothering all the customers. Shame. This one however gets my full recommendation.

Religious men try all ways to reach out to the unwashed. There were those that tried TV shows like Davey and Goliath. Jack Chick gave out billions of tracts. And then there are those like Ron Ormond and Estus Pirkle, whose If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? is an Herschell Gordon Lewis movie in ecclesiastical finery. Hal Lindsey, whose tabloid end times film The Late Great Planet Earth made me not sleep for most of the late 1970's. Russ Doughten, whose apocalyptic saga that began with A Thief In the Night converted thousands. And pastor Kenneth Okonkwo, who seems to have inherited their willingness to go absolutely and wonderfully bonkers just to make you see the light. Lucifer has sent his demons to Nigeria, impregnanting a woman - in horrifying 1980's direct to video gore detail - with the Antichrist, who ends up being a small child dressed in a bootleg Jordan jersey with glowing rainbow eyes. Only Pastor Lazarus can stop him, as he and Pastor Chucks (Okonkwo) walk through the streets, screaming the word of God at real people like some Christian ministry version of Jackass while the demon child beats up homeless women and gets yelled at by his father before committing patricide, then engaging in Street Fighter style battle with the priest.