لحم طازج

source: Fresh Meat

...you need to make sure that the jokes land. Most of the jokes here didn't. So the plot is that a gang of inept crooks are running from the police, and intrude on a family of Maori who belong to a whacky cult of cannibals. The daughter, who was sent off to an exclusive girl's school to preserve her virginity for a sacrifice, discovers her family's "Lifestyle change" just before the crooks break in. What follows are a bunch of antics before the crooks are mostly killed or disable. The thing is, the jokes aren't funny. The only thing that is kind of funny is Temura Morrison (Star Wars) over the top performance as the father/cult leader/frustrated professor. There are probably some cultural things here I don't get because I don't live in New Zealand. But generally, not funny at all.

If you enjoy gore comedy, this movie is just for you . A non Hollywod movie that is worth watching indeed.

This movie had great potential, but the twist of events after "teasing" were a waste of time. I had to turn it off. It's a good thing that I watched it on Amazon Prime, because I would have walked out if it were in a cinema. The acting- not horrible, but the actors were just doing their jobs dealing with a script that should have had more rewrites. My first New Zealand film. I hope as I see more that they're not as big of a disappointment. The hook was good, but after that, I slid off of it.

There are so many jokes to be made with that title, that I'm sure you'll think of some pretty good ones yourself. And as the title suggest, you will be in the loop before one of our main characters is. So the viewer is ahead on a few things (also the "arriving"/"clash" is something you'll be expecting too), that the characters aren't. The movie will not be everyones taste (no other way to put that), but it is funny. Does it have flaws? Of course it has. But you would do the movie unjust to critique it because of it and you would hurt your own movie viewing experience by being to observing of those mistakes and flaws. Try to enjoy a fun little movie with a wicked sense of humor

My aren't the Maori popular just now? Very funny film with a good solid cast of characters. Full of very dark humour, and a lot of good natured fun as well. What you get in the box: One Smokin' Aces/Domino style movie that turns into a blood fest in a house surrounded by completely incompetent police. There are really 2 separate movies here that were stitched together imperfectly, but the final result (though similar in appearance to Leatherface's mask) is a funny unique story that you will most likely enjoy. There are some deaths that make no sense though so you just have to take it at that. Enjoy because it is a bright clean and welcoming horror, and there are no dark spaces. We need more of that, real horror is a lot cleaner than the stuff we are always seeing.

I'm appalled that such talent assembled could create such a pile of steaming, misogynistic crap. I personally know many of the people involved, so I expected a fun, camp horror, not this tripe. The writing is particularly what lets it down. e.g. A SWAT team raids the house, and ONLY ONE OFFICER BREACHES THE BUILDING. Execrable.

Rina (Hanna Tevita) attends an all girls school and likes to take showers. Her mother is "ubiquitous" and a famous cook. Meanwhile a rescue of Richie Tan (Leand Macadaan) is in operation. Richie has been sentenced to 12 years for murder, kidnapping, and selling fruit without a license. The two subplots come together as a home break-in, except with a twist. The family held hostage are cannibals, just wanting to eat their captors. This is a fairly decent dark comedy with grindhouse elements. Kate Elliott as Gigi gives the film a raw sexuality, especially when coupled with school girl Hanna Teyita. I thought the film should have done a few more gags/bits before the killings, at which time the quality goes down. Parental Guide: F-bomb, nudity (Acushla Tara Sutton)

This is one of the cheapest, worst film I've seen in my life. To put it in perspective, I'm a film nerd. I love films, I probably watch 1 to 3 new films every day. This has got to be top 3 worst movies I've ever seen in my life, and here's why. Plot: The story is very random, and extremely uninteresting. The protagonists are never truly explored as to their personalities or why they are even doing what they're doing in the movie. The protagonists are even worse.. the whole time I just wished the criminals would just kill the family because wtf was the director smoking when they made such annoying and boring characters. Nothing makes sense either, with the girl from the family and girl from the criminals being both lesbians and having some attraction for each other is mind bogglingly stupid and everything that happens in this film is unbelievable and wouldnt make sense even in the dorkiest of comedies. Cinematography: I mean I didn't expect much from a nz film. But the budget must of been mince pies... the shots are that of a high school film and the special affects and CGI is even worse.. corners were cut and so a chewed up mess is all you get. Acting: The performances in this film are plain and simple. They're horrible. I mean I would assume the cast was never even paid with what bland, unrealistic and terrible performances they gave. Everyone seems to do a crappy job of what are already crappy characters. For example the characters constantly have guns in their face and are talking and acting as if there isn't a care in the world.. also with the protagonists turning their backs on the family as well. Summary: Please do not waste even a minute of your life with this garbage. I usually love horror comedies or just comedies in general. Like dumb and dumber, scream etc.. but this one of the worst films I've ever seen. The story was random and didnt make any sense, mixed with a random cannibals and criminals that have no back story or relatedness to a decent plot line. Acting is horrible and unrealistic, didnt even laugh once. Characters are boring and beyond punchable. The budget is mince pies and the director is on crack. You've been warned.

"Watch the meat, son!" I actually thought the movie New Zealand film was dead after Jackson only makes main Stream and also "Black Sheep" could not start the fire. But "Fresh Meat" yes indeed is, the film sensation of the year from the land of shepherds: A mixture of "Pulp Fiction" and "The Green Butchers", a blend of from cannibalism and lesbian action: I say: thumbs up, Keep up the New Zealand! You're back on the right path, a path that once began with "Braindead" and unfortunately threatened to end in a stalemate with the "Hobbit" and has now re-elected with "Fresh Meat" the right course! Brilliant! Especially the native New Zealandish tribal action rocks. This movie is really a must see!