The Ice Cream Wars

There is plenty of blood sweat and tears in this movie, but what I was impressed mostly was the ending. You know how some movies have it all then at the end its like what the heck just happened here? Are you serious? Well not in this movie. One of the better final scenes I have watched in recent memory. The film revolves around Andy and his expecting wife Stacey and Stacey's brother one of Andy's mates. Andy receives a bad injury during some hooligan antics and doctors tell him any career in sports is gone. Andy gets involved with dubious characters and his role with them starts to spiral out of control. Good acting, worthy film.

Terrible movie, complete waste of time. I really wouldn't bother even considering this film, there are so many greats and this wouldn't hit the top 1000. The plot was weak and the acting worse. It was just awful, I have nothing decent to say about this film at all. The only reason I finished it is because I was actually hoping that it may pick up at some point but that was a pipe dream and it went steadily down hill. The basic plot of this film revolves around an ex footballer who with baby on the way gets mixed up with some gangsters in order to make a living when his new career move is threatened. There are so many things in explained which I'm sure that if you ignore my review and actually watch this film you will see. I WOULD AVOID THIS FILM.

Low budget, terrible acting and a misleading title. Avoid

THE HOOLIGAN WARS is another one of those extremely low budget British crime films which is full of profanity and unknown actors doing their best hard-man routines but coming across as ineffectual and rather weak. The silly plot has a former football hooligan settling down after a crippling and buying an ice cream van, but problems arise when Polish gangsters warn him off their turf. The plot is as low key and unengaging as that, and most of the interest comes from Peter Barrett who works hard as the protagonist's volatile friend, brothel owner, and drug dealer. There's the odd moment of sadism or violence, but the script and characters are extremely thick and the performances hardly register. What is a surprise is that Simon Phillips appears and isn't as completely terrible as he is elsewhere.

Either a flake or some decent acting. It wasn't bad, just had some flaws. For example, the 'wars' wasn't much, and the fact that it was the hooligan wars, never really saw any. There was some fighting, but even I could tell none of the punches hit. Also, when armed police run into some massive scene, don't all stand there like muppets, crouching and the office has a pause mid sentence. And don't get me started about any shooting scenes, the 'lets all fall at the same time, and stand in the open' tatics are a wonder that these gangs (both sides) have lasted this long. Do i recommend it? Not really, but hey, some may like this film.

Apart from this just being a terrible film with a terrible script and terribly acted. They actually want us to believe that this guy who looks like he smokes 20 a day and chomps down on a diet of Kebabs and Curries, is a Professional Footballer. They'd have been better casting his mate, the dealer in the lead role and this guy as the dealer. At very least the dealer looks a bit athletic, particularly when compared to our podgy Ice Cream Man. This is another in a long line of 'Sarf ov Englund' (usually Essex) alleged hard Man films with lazy dialogue and all too predictable scenarios of violence for violence sake, and expletives for expletives sake. To be honest, i only ever watch these films to get a laugh, as they offer very little else.

It's clear that not many people have rated this film, but if you've come here to check it's score first before viewing, then don't be put off by the grade on here - as after watching this film, it doesn't seem right at all, and I'm glad I decided to ignore it. Far from a classic, but entertaining all the same, this British drama, is the tale of a professional footballer on the way up, who gets sidelined with an injury, and immediately dropped from his team. With no income, he must find a way to bring some money in, as he has a child on the way, and a loving partner to support. Mishaps occur, as desperate measures lead to desperate things, and our lead will find himself caught up in the wrong crowd, as everything he stands for will now be put to test, along with his morals, well being, and safety. The acting seems very natural, in the sense that the people act how you'd expect people in daily life to act - not at all over the top, and this does well in making the people seem 'real'. The visual quality is up to scratch, and some nice shots are used. My only complaint is there are a few clichés in the plot that may make you sigh, but if you can forgive them, and you're fan of British film, you may enjoy it for what it is. Certainly not the best film I've ever seen, but nowhere near the worst, but definitely worth a look on a quiet night. 6/10

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Low budget, terrible acting and a misleading title. Avoid

THE HOOLIGAN WARS is another one of those extremely low budget British crime films which is full of profanity and unknown actors doing their best hard-man routines but coming across as ineffectual and rather weak. The silly plot has a former football hooligan settling down after a crippling and buying an ice cream van, but problems arise when Polish gangsters warn him off their turf. The plot is as low key and unengaging as that, and most of the interest comes from Peter Barrett who works hard as the protagonist's volatile friend, brothel owner, and drug dealer. There's the odd moment of sadism or violence, but the script and characters are extremely thick and the performances hardly register. What is a surprise is that Simon Phillips appears and isn't as completely terrible as he is elsewhere.