Bodyguard Seduction

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2022's Bodyguard Seduction is a strange movie even by Lifetime standards. Lifetime-rs take note. I found it somewhat amusing and lead Jessica Morris, well I adore her. She's kind of an uber babe. But come on, what's up with her persona here, a sort of unlikable sex kitten and changeable tycoon who despite being in peril, always acts like she's in the mood (if you know what I mean). Heck, Jessica's Charley Huxton is so standoffish and otherwise aroused you'd think she was the actual villain (when she isn't). Again strange. Anyhow, "Seduction" has enough twists and turns to form a dozen soft pretzels. And that's even when you know who the antagonist is about 45 minutes in. The film also has enough red herrings to form a board game. I mean is the bodyguard in question bent on harming Huxton? Is said bodyguard's friend up for doing the same? Is Huxton's fellow co-workers looking to make her life miserable? Does Huxton know people are trying to kill her even though her brain is filled with the concupiscent? And does "Seduction's" setting need a crap load of LA/Hollywood aerial shots to let everyone know where odds and ends go down? Apparently so. As a Lifetime flick about a rich, female designer who falls for her bodyguard who may or may not be involved in her planned demise, Bodyguard Seduction baits us with steamy, PG-rated naughty scenes, obvious black lingerie, and characters who are at each other's throats just for the heck of it. "Seduction" is well, campy and teasingly trashy, almost begging the viewer to sit with its comely actors to try to serene them down. Kevin Costner and the late Whitney Houston, well they would sort of balk at this ode to romantic minders. Seduction of the Minotaur.

Charly is awful, the plot is awful, everything is awful. Charly has one of the worst attitudes of the recent Lifetime protagonists. How did it make sense to them to run from the police? Is she famous/important or not? How could they go on the run when everyone knows what she looks like and who she is (as if she'd let them forget). For someone who claims to be so much smarter and savvier than everyone else, Charly makes the dumbest decisions of the movie. She goes on the run which makes her a fugitive and she barely knows this guy. They never leave LA which no doubt has cameras everywhere...they aren't caught on day 2? Not a single street gets blocked off, no APBs, her house doesn't get surrounded, they are carrying on like it's no big deal. For the level of fame Charly claims to have, none of it makes sense. Then these two have ZERO chemistry. Marion and Frank (The Bodyguard), Tony and Steffi (from Loving) and Noni and Kaz (Beyond the Lights) have the bodyguard/client chemistry these two lack. All of their scenes were giving Showtime in the 90s after 10pm. I mean the slow mo, the too loud music...lol, it was too much. What was with the fantasy scene at the beginning? And sorry, but I remember Jessica M from OLTL and I've seen plenty of her Lifetime roles, and mogul is not something she can pull off. Charly is mean, rude, entitled and acts like her success makes her better than everyone else. We don't even actually SEE her in action other than bossing people around, strutting and treating her business partner and presumed best friend poorly. The bodyguard is Lifetime's David Boreanaz and sorry but he was so unprofessional. I guess I expected more brooding, more skill, basically the stereotypical movie bodyguard and he just wasn't that bright. You'd almost expect a bodyguard to have law enforcement friends who might be able to help in this situation but nope. Another idiotic part of this story is how is the best friend (COO?) mpt a suspect? She's creeping around dark alleys, committing conspiracy to commit murder, committing actual murder...would not the police follow her around to see if she's contacted by Charly? Two things would have made this movie better for me. Either lift the entire stalker plot from The Bodyguard (they even had the fellow bodyguard try to take out Charly like the movie did) since Lark was tired of playing second to Charly OR make it a financial coup/takeover type of storyline where again Lark would be behind it for the same reason. It makes zero sense that this movie had to resort to murder in the way that it did. At the climax, the police STILL are not involved. I thought they were fugitives? I realize budgets are tight, but is there no stock footage that can be used? They finally show up and it's over. Soooo bad. This movie is a mess. Jessica was far better in Abduction Runs in the Family (and that movie wasn't great) and Danger in the Spotlight.