Killer Body Count

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The camera work and most of the acting is fine. There are certainly issues with budget and location. Part of it is due to the typical troupes used in modern feminist writings in full display here: Church bad Church has conversion camps Men are horny, selfish, and inadequate Orgasms and sex are empowerment Men and religion keep us from experiencing our pleasure and full sexual experience Only through women can we be fully realized as a person Yadda yadda blah blah blah. It tries to be funny but it's not. It tries to make statements about society, but they're so hamfisted and typical that you groan. It has good gore. The writing is typical modern clichés that would only be entertaining to people who isolate themselves and avoid human interaction.

I had a whole more nuanced and thought out review I was making notes for while watching this, but about 45 mins in the film began to lose my interest and then it went double time in the last act to not try and get it back. I also started watching this under the thought that this was a horror movie, not catching on that this was more of a snarky horror until part way though. When seeing the main character quickly 180º from being traumatized about seeing a boy killed and then gaslit to seem crazy (for being the only one to notice that 1 of the only 4 boys is missing) to suddenly creaming her shorts at the sight of the boys naked shower fun time. So I added "comedy" to its IMDb genre for others to be better aware going in. And it's with scenarios like that, the movie goes from interesting to incredulous with tonal shifts that hiccup throughout the movie from any one scene to the next. The main contributor to the jarring shifts in tone is how it has the cast (but mainly the lead actress) play their dramatic moments seriously with an effective, emotional display of anguish and glassy eyes, but then the next scene is some ludicrous (comedy?) scenario -- usually involving those very same characters who were just emotional -- that is in stark contrast to what happened before. HERE'S ANOTHER EXAMPLE: - Two girls see another girl get her face caved in with a bladed thurible and then the main girl's boy crush get speared to death. Then they run away from the killer and hide out in a cabin when suddenly... they become so rapt with passion they strip down to their undies while making out for some girl on girl time. One girl fiddles the other one's faddle until she orgasms (loud enough it must've alerted the killer who, not much later, Cosmo Kramer's inside to do some poking of his own)... And then the very scene after that it's devastatingly dramatic again when the main girl discovers a secret room with heartbreaking yada yada. And no part of any of that example is ever played for laughs, which is what makes the "comedy" aspect so odd, or awkward. What is the audience supposed to absorb from the story with such massive swings like that? Because of the dramatic scenes, the sudden goofball comedy is more jarring than funny; and because of the intermittent cartoonish campy bits the switch to serious real emotional moments are just too awkward to invest in. And by the end the movie just seems to have triple-downed on the absurdity with a bunch of stabbed, beaten, bleeding, traumatized, and injured people suddenly all at max health running around like the Avengers. Props though for the DOGMA nod if that really was a box of Buddy Christ figurines in that one scene. ===-=== -- MY RATING SCALE -- ===-=== 1. Reserved for Poorly Produced/Amateur Video 2. Utterly Terrible 3. Really Bad 4. Mediocre 5. Perfectly Average 6. Surprisingly Entertaining 7. Very Good 8. Incredibly Good 9. Exceptionally Great 10. Reserved for my Personal Favorites.

This tubi tv original film was a complete blast. Extremely sexy and graphic! The director in this has put together a nice and nasty little slasher film with plenty of blood and gore and sex. The plot focuses on two incestuous siblings who run a wilderness camp for teens whose parents sent them there to be "fixed". The teens who are normal sexually active teens must fight for their lives when religion is mixed with death. The promiscuous group of teens find themselves being killed off one by one by a killer in devil masked and is dressed like a Monk. The main girl, the sultry and confused Cammie, along with 8 other teens find themselves trapped within the confines of the camp and must fight for survival. This one has plenty of sex and nudity to go around and the kill scenes were gruesome and gory! Highly recommend this teen slasher romp!

I usually say things like, "This was good for a Tubi Original," but Killer Body Count is damn good for a slasher, much less one made in 2024. Cami George (Cassiel Eatock-Winnik) gets caught making out -- beyond that, engaging in mutual *, which she initiates -- with a boy in the storage room of her church. Her father blames the suicide death of her mother (Kira Wilkerson) for how she acts and Father Tim tells him that they will send her to the Beautiful Savior Treatment Center. This place used to be a retreat for priests and a sleepaway camp where either mushrooms -- or a young priest who went insane and decided to kill young fornicators -- wiped out everyone staying there other than brother and sister Eugene (Bjorn Steinbach) and Tawny (Alex McGregor). They've started this camp to help Catholic boys and girls to grow up with less sin in their heart and that means isolating the sexes, locking them in, throwing away their phones and teaching them Jehoga, which gets rid of all that weird Eastern psychology in yoga. Cami is now pretty much a captive, living along with Chris, Rob (Ethan Sanders), Bree, Ali (Khosi Ngema), Wyatt (Savana Tardieu), Mia (N'kone Mametja), Bree (Jessie Diepeveen), Riley (Atara Leigh) ,Dan -- who looks like Jesus if he drank kombucha -- and Kevin (Adam Lennox) as they breathe, worship and commit to protecting themselves from their sexual urges. Except that these are teenagers and they all just want to get laid, so they just keep on doing it, even if whoever orgasms seems to get killed by a devil-masked slasher who lives in the woods. Or a ghost. Or the priest, who has remained there ever since he massacred everyone so long ago. This is a movie filled with great dialogue, such as "I saw a guy you ****** get murdered by a guy in a devil mask. I'm far from OK." and "He was crushed to death. How is that an accident? God works in mysterious ways." It also doesn't forget that young people today are no longer constrained by heterosexual relationships and never shames them for having urges, even if that's all that Tawny seems to do, including making Cami kneel on rocks or slicing a crucifix into Wyatt's hand. It's hard to make a slasher in the post-Scream era yet this gets so much right. The kills look incredible, the villains have a great modus operandi even if it's taken from so many giallo movies (no complaints) and the cast is uniformly attractive. Director Danishka Esterhazy also made the remake of Slumber Party Massacre and The Banana Splits Movie. I enjoyed both of those, but I loved this. It was written by Jessica Landry, who also wrote the Tubi Original Obsessed to Death. Slasher fans -- don't miss this one.

This is a mixed bag of trying to act, every slasher cliché under the sun, and a script with holes large enough to drive a truck through. Possibly the only original twist is the explanation to what is going on in this film. But it isn't enough. Cami is sent to a "catholic correctional facility" to be cured from being a teenager (see title). Cami's only crime being wanting to do the title. All the teenagers faults at the facility are hidden in the title. That you may not do according to the parents that sent them there. And so they do it there instead. Also unfortunately there is a madman on the loose at the place that offs teenagers left, right and center - while the two persons (siblings apparently) running the place doesn't seem to care. Having surrounded the place with electric fence and cliffs there is no where to run either. Well, the acting is attrocious at times, the plot ... running for their lives from a madman, ending up in a not so hidden cabin, the two main female characters logical reaction to it all is to do the title. For some reason. Of course they get interrupted. One of them pushed into the cellar, the other protected by plot armour. And so it continued all through the film. Particularly horrendous acting is provided by the siblings - lifted directly from any bad B-movie. If you enjoy bad acting and partial nudity, by all means grab a few beers and crisps. Otherwise ...

This is one of those movies that try to trick you into watching it. It promised 1980s style slasher fun, with some sly comedy. It delivered neither. This movie does have a slightly hidden agenda. Slightly anti religious, slightly anti male, and obviously aimed at a certain female demographic. It has a few cute allusions to older, classic horror movies (Phantasm) but it's really just a boring movie with a few PC messages in it, probably written by bitter women. It has a slight, undeveloped twist at the end, that may have been able to move my rating up a bit, but it went nowhere. If the movie was scary or funny, I wouldnt mind the messaging. But, no. Just a slow, ludicrous, unsatisfying waste of time. 2/10.

For those looking for a decent lightweight horror movie, this fits the bill. The basic idea is to put teens in the woods to stop them from having sex, and then introduce the serial killer. Suffice it to say that the plan doesn't work but it does allow for some interesting anti-religious strikes. The kills are actually pretty good, there is some decent character development even with the antagonists, and the plot is sort of solid. The plot twist actually works. Better yet, with one or two exceptions, the teens actually look like teens. What makes this movie stand out is that there is no female nudity (it's only suggested and only a couple of times do you see scantily women) but almost every male character is * or partially *, and there are even some scenes where the men are presented as beefcake.