Monsters of War

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The story of this movie had potential. The acting, therefore, is ridiculously bad. The children who are cast have null charisma and what the children lack in acting talent the rest compensates for with terrible overacting. The local amateur drama society employs more credible actors. The monsters in this movie are quite imaginative, but the execution is downright bad. The CGI looks ridiculously cheap. I can't believe anyone put the time and money into making this. Sometimes there are those movies that are so bad it's still funny to watch but this just hurts your eyes. Avoid this movie at all costs. Go do something fun with your time. Go scrub a toilet, iron the laundry, or literate your stamp collection. These are 81 minutes of your life you will never get back.

This is awful! Even for a bad movie it is BAD! Crappy child actors that are obviously reading things off of cards, a "star" whose giant fake eyelashes make her look like an aged out * star, and some of the cheapest CGI. Just a collection of really stupid people making the absolute worst decisions. In the first 5 minutes the "* star" yells questions to her kids, we hear no response, but she acknowledges something as if they did, then when a giant monster worm finds its way to the roof of her car, rather than driving off, she and her kids get out and run to a cave! (Which doesn't go well for them, but not as bad as the audience may hope) I post this as a warning. STAY CLEAR OF MONSTERS OF WAR.

Sadly, the acting in this film is High School film class quality. The lead actress has fake eyelashes long enough to dust furniture and the poor kids are smiling at times when they're supposed to be terrified. After an earthquake (?) a woman taking her kids to Grandma's house stops along the side of the road and hears loud scratching noises on the roof. ANYONE with even a lick of sense would drive off, instead, her and the kids get out and see a monster on the roof. Then instead of jumping back into the car where it's safe they run away with all the quickness of a sloth. They come across two guys covered in blood that tell them there's monsters nearby and that they came from a cave. They hear growling noises coming from inside the cave and what do they do? They run into the cave. The woman and kids then run to a house with a front door that couldn't stay closed against a slight breeze let alone monsters. There's a motley crew of people inside including a nun with a bad accent and changing complexion, and 4 others. The CGI isn't super bad but the writing, the terrible acting and bad plot lines (people do stuff that no one would ever do) just distract from everything so much that it's unwatchable. Nobody in this movie is afraid, there's T-Rex, giant spiders and other monsters running around and nobody shows even a hint of terror. Even though a couple of the actors give it a valiant effort, it's just terrible directing. Not worth seeing this one.

Monsters of War is producer Scott Jeffrey's third attempt at a group of unappealing, unattractive people trapped in a house stalked by dinosaurs/monsters horror film. I'm pretty sure this is the same hotel as in Dinosaur Hotel. The other film Hatched was in a pretty country house. The star here is the same actress from Dinosaur Hotel and she has the same two annoying kids as in that movie. They must be her real children as they can't act. None of the adults in this should really be in the acting profession either, it features some other faces from Dinosaur Hotel. The Eastern European nun is especially bad at acting plus her character is nasty- homely, mean, condescending and delusion. You'll be longing for her death and the death of every other character here. Apparently there's a war going on involving monsters though there's no big battles or chaos in the cities. The attacks by the "Monsters of War" are pretty sparse. I think we get more screen time of a super annoying asthma attack. We also get a long crying scene and a look for the lost child part which is pointless as it doesn't end in finding the child's half-eaten remains. All of this is to add unnecessary drama to go along with the endless dialogue inside the hotel. How about some drama of the people being relentlessly assaulted by the "Monsters of War?" Instead our ears are assaulted with endless boring dialogue that is hard to make out due to the accents. The lone redeeming thing about Monsters of War is the monsters themselves. Sure the CG isn't great but it's not really that bad. There's a decent variety here- two T-Rex's, a snake like monster, a dragon and another neat insectoid/reptoid type creature. There's a mention of a raptor that never appears. The monster attacks are somewhat bloody. At one point the director thinks he's clever doing one of those cliché circle around a group of people while they talk sequences. The only problem is you can hear the cameraman's footsteps during the entire sequence. Genius! There was also some brief but nice scenery of the English countryside. I've seen some fun films produced by Scott Jeffrey like Cupid and Don't Speak, Monsters of War is not one of them.

This is hilarious. So so so bad. The acting is beyond atrocious, so wooden and monotone. How did they ever get this horrible piece of work released. Worth watching if you are high!!! Or drunk!!!