Sniper: Special Ops

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I watch all of Seagal films bad, good, semi. The one bad thing about this movie was Rob Van Dam didn't get killed of early in the movie, he looked so uncomfortable and out of place. Excellent performance by Tim Abel.

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Does anybody know how hard it is to write 10 lines of text about a movie that is so bad that it isn't even funny anymore? Does anybody know how painful it is to watch such a crap show? Yup, I suffered thru it, so you don't have to. Long story short: Steven Seagal plays a US Army Sergeant. A 64 year old US Army Sergeant! A 64 year old Sniper! You gotta be kidding me. What kind of a joke is this? US Army goes Nursing Home? The movie plot itself is depicted pretty accurate with the words: utter crap. The movies story is the same inconsistent drivel seen in numerous other C-Pictures, boring, predictable and so cheaply made it hurts. In the Trivia section someone wrote that they made the movie in 20 days, not that it would make me wonder. Just another Steven Seadull gem!

Jake (Steven "Bradley Cooper is a sissy" Seagal) is a sniper who is part of group who is tasked to rescue an anti-war congressman (John Henry Richardson) from the Taliban. Rescue of congressman- good, his security team- not so good. The group gets separated. Jake is left behind with an injured man and some dead soldiers as another group lead by Vic (Tim Abell) gets away. The story divides into a plot and subplot. The plot consists back inside the fence Vic trying to avoid a jinx NATO reporter (Charlene Amoia) who is also the admiral's niece. Seagal is the subplot who basically sits and looks out a window, occasionally reading a line in monotone. This is the part of the army that doesn't have to wear helmets in a war zone and can disregard regulations on grooming. Tim Abell is the star of the film, as Seagal had a smaller role, if not minor as compared to the overall plot. The dialogue consisted of cliche lines when good. The plot flew by the seat of its pants, with much of the film being consumed with bad dialogue attempting to make a believable tale. Okay, I lied, at no time did they attempt to make this a believable tale. The ending was unorthodox and idiotic to say the least. And the "Van Dam" in the film is Pro Wrestle Rob Van Dam, who can't deliver a line outside of the ring. It was one of those films so awful you sit with your mouth open watching it. Who gave Fred Olen Ray permission to write a serious film? May have camp value. Guide: 1 well spoken F-word. No sex or nudity. Partial view of Charlene Amoia' s bra.

So, its called Sniper. Sniper is in the title. So, is it a little too much to ask to see a sniper sniping? One would think not. However, this is a Steven Seagal flick, so that means anything goes. As long as Seagal gets to 1. Play it "cool" (check), 2. Have minimal dialogue and deliver it in a low, slow, mumbling voice (check), and 3. Wear sunglasses for 99.99% of his screen time (check). What really gets me is that I was pumped to see some sniper shots. You know, head shots where people's skulls are obliterated by the expert marksmanship of the sniper. And what do we get? Three, yes count 'em, 3 sniper shots. And one of them the target was a whiskey flask, not a person. I'm not kidding. The rest of the movie drags on with some lame storyline of special ops guys going to perform automotive maintenance on a broken down supply truck, only to find the head taliban raghead's daughter and infant child trying to flee, thus throwing a monkey wrench in what would have been an easy operation. OK, so firefights ensue, an expendible soldier gets a bullet in the brains, dozens of taliban clowns are mowed down by the superior firepower and marksmanship of the American soldiers. Scene cuts to Seagal every 15 minutes or so for a 2 minute pontification by Steven, who's trying to save his sniper/spotter squad member whose been paralyzed by a bullet to the spine, well at least according to Dr. Seagal. See, not only is he a sniper, but he's such a seasoned vet that he's also an expert medic and qualified to make battlefield diagnoses. So, anyhow, the beta-dog member of the squad (since Seagal is the alpha dog, presumably) pulls into town and confronts the head taliban raghead but tricks him thanks to the savvy female war correspondent whose been a real thorn in his side for the entire movie up until now when he can use her for the old switcheroo. The baby is really a bomb dressed up as an infant and the guy gets blown to smithereens. A few more bullets fly and then Seagal and the paralyzed wounded vet get rescued. Seagal then takes off his sunglasses at the end of the movie. Ooh-Rah!

SNIPER: SPECIAL OPS stars Steven Seagal as, get this, a sniper attached to a Special Ops unit. Who knew? It's also the fourth film in what renegade film critic Vern has affectionately dubbed his "Goatee Era." The basic plot is that a Special Ops unit is performing a rescue mission in Afghanistan when things go south and turn into a firefight. Seagal and another soldier are left behind, and the remainder of the team gets sent on a side mission after returning to base, hoping to eventually go back and retrieve Seagal and the other guy, who are still waiting in place. I thought that the story was OK, but nothing special. As is typical with Seagal films, there is some stuff thrown about that makes it a little bit topical, and there was an authentic feel to the dialogue, costumes, and the way the actors carried themselves. All this was fine, and the performances were generally serviceable, if unremarkable. The major problem is the serious lack of Seagal himself. Although he is top-billed and appears on the poster, he really doesn't do all that much. Some other actor could have played his part and no difference would have been made. As for the action, it's mostly just a bunch of shootouts and firefights, and a couple of stock explosions towards the end. There were also a number of interesting throwaway lines and asides that made the characters a little more colorful than they were probably written. Overall, I found this seriously lacking as a Seagal film, but for what it's worth, SNIPER: SPECIAL OPS is a decent low-budget actioner that doesn't insult your intelligence too much.

Remember when Seagal used to make films where he appeared to be pro-active and actually put some effort into his fight scenes and running scenes? Where you one of those people who just yearned for a Seagal film where he would be sitting down for 90% of his screen time' and be wearing sunglasses for 99% of his screen time? Well after 28 years of appearing in films, here's the one you've been waiting for..... And it's not that Van Damme either..... When the mission to rescue a U.S. Congressman who has been kidnapped by the Taliban goes sideways, Army sniper Jake Chandler and his injured partner are left behind. Now, on their own, they must survive in enemy territory and wait for their unit to come back for them........ Terrible is one word to describe this film, others would be using obscene language, so I'm not going to go down that route. The film is split into two different stories, one involving a spoilt little rich girl who wants in on the action, whilst the grizzled soldiers are like 'no way....no way.....no way........go on then'. The other is involving (ha ha involving) Seagal and a sweaty partner who cannot walk just sitting in a room. He sweaty partner is a walking (pun intended) cliché, talking about being back home and blah blah blah, and Seagal sits there, in his sunglasses saying nothing. And there is literally one point where he gets up and goes to the shop. This is a real new low for Seagal, he is once again dubbed, he's hardly in any shots with other people in the film, and he could've been using a double half the time as his face is that obscure. But it's worth watching for the sheer audacity of a once reputable name in Hollywood doing something so lazy, so meaningless, and so offensive toward his loyal fan base. He knows his fans will see this no matter what, and he's just sitting there, and I for one, felt unhealthy just looking at the man. Absolute trash from beginning to end....

Overall plot could have been interesting but direction and casting was incredibly poor. Main actors were decades too old and obviously overweight and out of condition to be remotely believable as active duty soldiers let alone the top-shelf special forces they were portraying. Soldier ranks and chain of command was completely wrong for the situation and even the most obvious military tactics such as securing a perimeter, finding cover/laying prone during a firefight or trying to avoid an obvious ambush were mostly ignored. Character development was nil and supporting women only served to annoy the main characters without a hint of romantic interest or sex appeal which might have at least distracted viewers from an overall lackluster film. The audience was given little reason to care who won or lost and there was no interesting subplot, character drama or anything all that interesting to see in terms of actors, vehicles, aircraft or weapons. In spite of the cast including 7th Dan Aikido black belt Steven Seagal and WWE pro wrestler Rob Van Dam there is never a single physical altercation, only a series of lackluster gunfights. Some smaller problems the US weapons were obviously not government issue: barrel lengths, flash hiders, sights were all wrong as was the lack of typical support weapons on both sides. Weapons usage was strange even for b-movies, most rifles were never fired full-auto, characters seemed to have ample ammo but most fired sparingly while the "sniper" was spraying everything in sight with full-auto fire. Later no one remembered to reload a nearly empty M9 pistol before starting a new gunfight...the same M9 pistol which proved far more accurate and deadly than any of the scoped M4 assault rifles the soldiers were firing. Tim Abell showed some great acting skills and was a likable character as Sgt Mosby but unfortunately he was still far too old and out of shape to pull off the role.

Sniper Special Ops