Cannibal Farm

, but I just love this movie it has something inside that makes it amazing

This is the most laughably horrible movies I have ever seen. The writing is terrible, the acting is atrocious, and there are plot holes a mile wide. It is a bit like watching an overacted high school play in high definition.

Apparently my other review was censored so I try again. Firstly I want to say I dislike the main actor who looks like some 70s glam rock fan. Not because of that but he is just annoying. The movie is atrocious. It starts out by portraying this family like their only problem was the incident with the melted face. Then it rips of Texas Chainsaw and recent French horror like Haute Tension but this movie has no tension. The only scene I liked was the people in the cages which looked tolerably original.

Heading out for a family get-together, a family arrives in the English countryside to enjoy a refreshing catch-up but a series of unfortunate incidents strands them there and forced to look for help at a local farm only to find the owners are cannibalistic flesh-peddlers looking to include them in their business and must try to leave alive. This was a rather solid if somewhat flawed effort. Among it's better aspects is the enjoyable setup that manages to get everything going rather nicely. Getting an immediate backstory to the killer and his deformed appearance, the history of atrocities committed at the farm and the fractured family going through their own issues and relationships, this one gets quite a lot out that manages to get a familiar enough storyline cobbled together to work quite nicely. The motive of revenge based on the treatment of his son is a worthwhile starting point, while the bickering and squabbling allow them to have a solid redemption ark based on how we're initially introduced to them. From there, the film gets quite fun with the events on the farm and the revelations that occur there. From getting the drop on the family to capture them in a special action sequence chasing them around the farm to the treatment bestowed upon them by being locked and chained inside electrified cages, these scenes offer a quite horrific form and mental and physical torture as the family comes and constantly threaten them only to have the tables turned in a series of surprising revelations that are quite nice and thrilling. With the resulting scenes getting some impressive bloodshed and gore for this kind of indie effort, there's a lot to like here that holds it up over its minor flaws. This one does have a few issues with it. The main issue is the fact that this one runs on a bit too long with some questionable storylines and scenes that don't really do this any favors. The main factor with the twist about the real reason for the trip makes no sense and just seems to eat up time for no reason, much like the constant back-and-forth nature between the two of them over their argumentative business which just goes on way too long to be any significance with how it intersects in the latter half. The same goes for the epilogue which tries to go for poignant impact but just fails miserably at doing so, instead making this feel like it should've ended way before. The other factor to lowering this one is the rather lame killer here, who's quite intimidating with a rather lame mask, average body-type and no real forceful attitude judging by the way he cowers from a fight and gets taken out barely an hour into the movie. That doesn't make for an imposing figure to be scared of, while that final sequence brings up an intriguing plot-point that's quite underwritten with the reveal of the killers' switch and what happened to him. Both sides are right in what they believe happened yet they never correct each other with the contradiction which would've had a better realization scene. It's a massively confusing series of events and makes for a wholly disappointing story overall for the films' issues. Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence, Extreme Graphic Language and children-in-jeopardy.

Given the constraints that this type of film is fighting against in terms of the hard cash required to get a film made and out this is a good effort by all involved.

If you just randomly hit record on your phone and left it on for 2 hours you'd have a way better movie than this turd. But at least I learned one thing, if you touch an electrified fence your hands explode... ... .... yeah, that bad...

Cannibal Farm, where do I even begin? Let's start with the fact that I watch 2 films daily and have been doing so for years. The only time I write online reviews is when I want to warn would-be viewers just how God-awful a movie is before they waste their time (or worse, money) on it. This is only the second time I've ever had to do this. Enough said, right? In occasional attempts at competence, the film sloppily copy/pastes ideas from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Saw, and even House of 1000 Corpses, before launching into cringe-worthy, ear-grating monologues by characters that might as well be too drunk to be able to put together anything resembling cohesive plot clues in this nearly 2-hour cringe fest, but I digress. This movie is so bad that to do a truly in-depth review of it would be an insult to higher thought itself. The films deserves only the requisite amount of frontal lobe activity necessary to ensure intelligent viewers steer clear of it, and nothing more, so, STEER CLEAR! You have been warned.

Heavily inspired by the Texas chainsaw franchise, it puts a deeper twist onto the cannibalism. For one thing, Mr. Hansen didn't like what he was doing. He absolutely hated farming humans. But let's go back to the beautiful intro. In the beginning, we see young Hansen, son of Hunt, walking with his teddy scare, redmond gore (teddy scares, look them up) which forshadows the next scene and so on. The mom sees him getting bullied by the Blackheart kids and then witnesses a horrific accident of her child getting his face horrifically burned and scarred. The kids throw him in the water, the mother sees this and tries to save him from disfigurement to no avail. Then her guilt eats her up a short time later and she commits suicide. ALL IN VERY EMOTIONALLY TEAR JERKING SLOW MOTION. And to top it off, we get this beautiful emotional piano and violin melody that brings you to tears. That alone is what made this film so beautiful and tragic. I'm not going to say anything about the rest of the film because it's the beginning that I wanted to put out there. If you think this film is a knock off, it's not but just do yourself a favor and appreciate the beginning of the film. Appreciate how beautiful and emotional it is.

This movie is a tricky one in my opinion. I was hoping a lot from it but as the movie progressed I felt like the plot was getting boring. I didn't really care what happens to the family members because I just wanted it to end. And when they brought in the neighbor as "The Meat Eater", I was in all honesty disappointed. The acting was decent though, especially the mother did a good job. I didn't appreciate the obvious plot holes, like when the sister killed the brother by accident, but they never addressed that. Or when that boy was burning in the furnace and I was like "Have I been asleep the whole time, 'cos I missed the moment when they threw him there?". And the sister just _knew_ the furnace boy wasn't her brother. Wtf, who was he then? I also understood that the cave boys were the neighbor's boys but I think I saw their feet intact which didn't make any sense neither because the father cut the boys' feet. Oh well, this is why I gave this movie 3 starts. It was better than a lot of brainless Hollywood scream flicks, but it was still a half-assed job.

I really wish they had more of a budget. I get it, its a low budget move, but I dug the story and wanted the look and effects of the movie to match it. The kills were good, even some unexpected jumps. I know this movie takes a lot of its inspirations from movies like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, House of 1000, and The Hills Have Eyes but it still felt exciting to watch. This movie is flying pretty low under the radar, and deserves a little more recognition for what it is.