Avalanche Sharks: les dents de la neige

source: Avalanche Sharks

It's been a while since my last review. And starting again I figured I didn't want to pick up a blockbuster but a title by which you know, this isn't going to be that good but will offer a few things. So far i have seen them all concerning mega monsters like spiders and other stuff but Snow Sharks was sadly a waist of time. As I said earlier, I don't have problems with creature features that are over the top but there must be an actual storyline and if you are using effects that are cheap at least don't show how it is done. When one of the girls is being bitten in two by a Snow Shark they do close in with the camera but you could easily spot here legs just being covered by the snow, you could even see them move. A really bad thing. Of course the sharks are cheap CGI but they do look rather good. On part of the storyline itself there's something to say about that too. In fact there isn't any. You move from one part to another and nothing binds them. Then you have the nerd trying to seduce girls but that doesn't work out, up to the next scene. Then you have the Asian girl coming into the story and pulling up crosses in the snow, Why she does that and why the crosses are there is never explained but they do things with the sharks. 3 girls are in a hot tub, why, no reason at all, and you can see it coming, they are shark foot, sharks appearing in the tub and the water doesn't run out of it, strange. We also see a lot of skiing and snow boarding which looks nice but doesn't add anything to the story. Yes, this is just a mishmash of ideas, sadly,bad ideas that doesn't work out. All the girls do look pretty and some do walk around in small bikini's but that doesn't make a flick and when you are teasing with nudity then give it to the people. No, this I can't recommend to anybody, not even the Z-flick lovers. Gore 0/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 1/5 Story 1/5 Comedy 0/5

"Avalanche Sharks" tells the story of a bikini contest that turns into a horrifying affair when it is hit by a shark avalanche. Checking this film on IMDb in June 2015, and you will see it hovering around a 2.1 out of 10. That, obviously, is pretty awful. But that also is incredibly inaccurate and unfair. Not that this is a masterpiece, but compared to thousands of other low budget films in recent years, it has a certain charm to it. Sure, the acting is a bit weak, and the military character is an awful stereotype... and the music is repetitive... and the special effects are cheap. But if you went into this expecting anything different, you have much too high of expectations for a film called "Avalanche Sharks". Because that is the whole point of the movie: sharks in the snow. And what more could you want than that? I suppose more sharks. But the very concept is brilliant and do not be surprised if you see this getting remade down the road with a bigger budget. Noteworthy: the mysterious Max Nikoff was on this production in the sound department. The world is still wondering who this Nikoff is, who claims to have fled the Soviet Union and took up movie making under the wing of Ulli Lommel...

I mean one always wonders who these people are who watch infomercials for 30 minutes at a time. Well, here is our answer. It is more fun and interesting to watch an infomercial compared to this. I do give three stars for the hardbods and the chick who promises sex to the ski-doo race winner, but what a tease this movie is. Give me a break. Show us what we want to see! So a tease, no real action, the story is clichéd and a corrupt copper... OK whatever

A remote ski resort is terrorized by prehistoric man eating sharks after an avalanche. Yes really! I'm been trying to figure out what makes a good bad movie (Sharknado) vs. a bad, bad movie (Avalanche Sharks)? I mean they're both B movies you watch for a laugh in a so-bad-its-good kinda way. They're also both about equal in terms of acting, direction, plot and special effects. Yet somehow Sharknado was fun to watch whereas Avalanche Sharks was just unwatchable. In the end I made it through about half of this, I mean I had to see a few attacks, but the CGI is poorly (cheaply) done and while this is just a crappy B movie I still wanted a bit of an explanation as to how/why there were sharks living in the snow -they apparently came from space. I still had fun guessing who gets eaten first and how; the babes getting it in the hot tub, the dude with the snow blower or the girls running from the advancing fin cruising through the snow. After the initial curiosity wears off though there's not much left. 01.02.14

The first thing I noticed about this movie was that the people could actually act. I'm always amazed at how the "actors" in most of these shark movies are extremely unnatural but in this one they seem like this may not be their first time. This is actually as much a skiing movie as a shark movie, complete with the race to win the love of a girl. I wasn't expecting much and I was a little surprised that it wasn't worse than it is, although the end is absolutely ludicrous. I'd have to say this was not a total waste of time.

To be honest, I suffered through watching most of this movie here and there throughout the past year or so whenever it was airing on television. Although there was worldwide shock and awe with Sharknado (which was so cheesy and irrational that it was funny), they should have kept it at that and left it as a classic cheesy movie. But no, instead they start creating a whole bunch of shark movies...so much so, that the original value of Sharknado is now lost. Avalanche Sharks is obviously a very cheesy film. But of all cheesy films, it is horribly executed. The CGI is terrible, and the story is just a piece of garbage. To be honest, how can you even imagine sharks living in the snow? At least with Sharknado, they were picked up and tossed around in the tornadoes to terrorize people in the city. Here, sharks are swimming in snow...do the writers even have brains? Anyway, if you're looking for a cheesy movie, this one delivers for the first few minutes. After that, it loses its charm, if there was any in the first place. This Sharknado spin-off is definitely a disaster worse than any avalanche could ever pull off.

Bon film !

Avalanche Sharks