After School Massacre

source: After School Massacre

If you've seen some promo shots or the trailer I reckon, you may feel that this may have some highlights. Particularly when it comes to very good looking female characters ... although characters may be giving the paper thin excuses of characters too much credit. But the thing is not that the movie is only teasing you, but refusing to give you any pleasure ... you're better off watching twitter or instagram accounts or whatever else floats your boat! That is not the main reason I rated this so low. It is because it actually lacks in the one thing that would make this bearable. Shocking horror scenes and death scenes that might give you something. Always remembering that this is a movie obviously. The really annoying people in it - you don't really care for them, so if they would die ... well you at least would want that to be something exciting. But due to the low (or is it no?) budget of the movie, you are practically seeing ... nothing! You could turn that into positive and praise the filmmakers for inventing so many methods of cutting away or framing it in a way that you are not able to see impacts or penetrations (of killings, just in case you again got your ... hopes up). The music video at the end is also bad ... but almost feels like something great ... maybe just watch that! You get to see all the cuties from the movie ... you can mute if you feel like your ears are being violated of course.

This movie is awful from start to whenever you quit because there is no way you are going to watch the whole thing. The movie starts with a girl babbling to her boyfriend over the phone in a voice that sounds like she is drowning before she ODs on Advil in the span of five minutes. For me, it ended with the girls talking about two homicides like it was yesterday's gossip. Maybe we should start a new trend to see who can get the farthest into this movie before dropping out. People like dare trends, especially ones where they see others in pain. When I first saw this movie, I figured it might be a good way to pass the time, maybe get a few laughs in at how bad it was. I didn't get past the first 20 minutes of the movie before I had to quit watching out of fear of falling victim to cancer. I expected it to be bad, but enjoyable like Sharknado and Rubber. This Movie was more cancerous than watching a Jersey shore marathon with Justin Bieber music playing at full blast in the background. This movie was rated G on the site where I watched it but should have been rated R for really bad acting. I understand the budget was only 40,000 but dang, scoop up a hustler pretending to be homeless on your street corner because they would have been better than these actors. Everything screamed *. I almost didn't want to keep watching because I feared at any moment, the teenage girls were going to start making out with each other, especially when one asked another to take a shower with her.(no, they didn't shower together, she just had a fear of being in the room where the girl OD) The music sounded like really bad arcade music from knock offs of a space invader game, and my friend said they reminded him of old * music. The killer had little to no motivation for killing, and every method of killing wasn't very interesting. Yes, scissors stab. Yes, you can snap necks. What happened to horror movies killing people in more creative ways? So, as my rant runs short on characters, I end with this conclusion; don't watch this movie. You could spend this time hanging out with your friends or loved ones. The only time you should watch this is if you really hate your self, want to know what not to do when making a film, or I you are trying to torture information out of a victim. It's that bad.

...you very likely already wasted a small but still significant portion of your life (think of all the more rewarding things you could have done in that 73-minute running time--the mind boggles!) watching this stinker; perhaps only forty minutes or so if you wisely put fast-forward to liberal use. Really, the other three (as of this writing and likely far into the future) reviews here have covered the bases well: horrible script, lifeless dialogue, indifferent direction, predominantly horrendous acting from the bulk of an obviously unpaid cast (I could spot maybe three who might have been seduced with some sort of nominal day rate), and production values a mere step above desperation. And the music. Oh, boy, the music. Some of the linked external reviews are stunningly kind, undoubtedly written by sycophants and fellow travelers. Ignore them. Even the redemptive powers of nubile bodies cannot rescue this pitiful mess; "After School Massacre" is almost painful viewing. Let's just put it this way: when the killer gets no credits listing, something is wrong; when the truth of the matter is that he doesn't deserve any listing, you know things are very, very wrong. And when a film this amateurish has the nerve to claim itself "in memory of Edward D. Wood, Jr.," you know that things have gone horribly, horribly wrong. Do not watch. You have been warned. There are very good reasons that pap like this is available free on YouTube. I just gave you a few. Others here have done the same. Listen to us, I beg you. Don't be one of those poor fools who had to read this *after* you burned off 73 minutes you'll never, ever get back. You will end up with fruit on your belly, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

"After School Massacre" is a modern throwback to the classic slasher film.The story is a simple slice 'n' dice, hot young girls meet the psycho killer that focus more on tits and ass soaked in blood than actual story. In the film, a teacher who walks the line between perv prone to inappropriate behavior and educator becomes obsessed with a student, flips out and goes on a killing spree after being suspended/fired (it depends what part of the story mentions that point), and one by one slaughters the group of teen girls. "After School Massacre" doesn't hold up to the classic 80's slashers that it desperately tries to imitate. Jared Masters creates - a decent enough concept, young girls at a slumber party face the masked killer- yet in executing this vision focuses more on Spice channel shenanigans that substance. The characters are so far removed from any authenticity that fantasy characters seem realistic in comparison. "After School Massacre" is a low budget slasher so production value is on the cheap-which doesn't necessarily mean a bad thing-a lot of cheap films have had quality product emerge as a result. However with this film there was too much attention spent in asinine character relationship dynamics and not enough time spent on building a strong story, or recognizable characters. The acting is amateurish and two dimensional. It sucks because a few moments in the film show real promise of what this film could have been with more care taken to bring this story to life. The special effects and soundtrack are the saving grace and only proof that is had a horror ancestor attached at some point. Again it is a low budget film so we aren't talking award winning stuff here, but Masters and the FX department use classic stylizing, and practical measures to give us gore and blood that isn't CGI and actually work. In those moments "After School Massacre" rises up to more than mimic the classic slasher. The soundtrack is hip, relevant, with creepy VHS era sound effects balancing out the atmosphere and at times elevating the scene to real horror status. So kudos on that front! Overall "After School Massacre" disappointed me. It felt more like a project contrived to get young girls to take their clothes off on camera without being softcore *. The story is weak, looses continuity throughout, and filled with fluff but no reward. This film works more toward the * crowd than the true slasher fan base with ridiculous dialog that goes no where, adds no value, and only serves to prove that most guys are pervs hoping to see girl-on- girl action. Still the deaths scenes are worth a scan through- although the word "blood spatter" should have been thrown out there in kill scene discussions for the actual scenes that needed it. And there are a few in here that needed it. The film ends on a weird note that doesn't really finish the film but doesn't actually herald in a reason for a sequel either. Check "After School Massacre" out if you really want to but don't expect much.

The sets are lacking, the acting chops are SORELY lacking and originality is not to be found anywhere. There are some cute women in the cast, but libidinous male viewers shouldn't get their hopes up; the "skin factor" is limited and nowhere near sufficient to make it worthwhile watching this debacle. The kills are so unconvincing as to be comical, the role of law enforcement depicted with a childlike simplicity, meaning gore and suspense fans will also find the film quite disappointing. I am the most patient of movie viewers, but I ended up skimming through most of the film on 4x fast forward after watching the first 25-30 minutes. Too lousy a film to even come close to the "so bad it's good" classification. AVOID!

After School Massacre