Death Rider in the House of Vampires

I had never heard about this 2021 movie titled "Death Rider on the House of Vampires" prior to stumbling upon it by random luck. But of course I was intrigued by the title, and the movie's cover seemed fair enough. And thus, I opted to sit down and watch the movie. The storyline in "Death Rider on the House of Vampires" was sluggish and while you might think that a vampire movie set in a Western setting sounds like a good combination, I will agree, but "Death Rider on the House of Vampires" was not a great movie. I was rather surprised to see the likes of Julian Sands and Devon Sawa on the cast list in a movie such as this. And truth be told, they were the reason why the movie stayed afloat. The acting performances in the movie were generally fair, but the actors and actresses didn't have much to work with in terms of script and character gallery. It was also nice to see Danny Trejo on the screen, though it was just for a short scene. "Death Rider on the House of Vampires" will most likely cater to the die-hard fans of Glenn Danzig, no doubt about that. But if you sit down to watch the movie casually, without a rose-tinted view of Glenn Danzig, then you will most likely find this movie to be a dull viewing experience. While I did manage to sit through the entire ordeal, I will never return to watch this movie a second time. My rating of "Death Rider on the House of Vampires" from writer and director Glenn Danzig lands on a generous three out of ten stars. I'm not a fan of Glenn Danzig's music, nor can I claim to be a fan of his movies after having seen this one.

No pun intended - actually the better pun has already been used by someone else: From Dusk til Yawn. Kudos and well done is what I say to that. I bow to that and acknowledge the genius behind it. Something I cannot say (with a straight face) about the movie at hand. I do like Devon Sawa - Final Destination was his breakout for me and many others. It is always nice to see him in anything ... still I can't rate it better just because of that. Not will I rate it better (or worse for that matter), just because the movie starts off with him on a horse ... and naked lady with him. Actually while that may be a selling point to some, the first 15 minutes are quite unnecessary ... nothing much is being done there ... ok so the best thing out of it (except the nudity if you are into it, though you don't really see that much)? The credits - people involved. I assume at least they will be happy about it. That all being said, the effects are ok and the actors do try their best ... if that is enough for you and you dig western movies with an undead touch ... or bite ... well there you go.

YEAH! This is exactly what punk was about: Do it YOURSELF! Here, Queen of all gloomy punk rock, Glenn Danzig, does just that: He "directs" a film! The same impulse that made lil' Glenn say "ga ga ga, I can be a singer in a rock band" back in 1975 or whenever also made him say "uh, I can direct a movie like that Zombie guy!" So, for pure "punk rock"-ness of it all, good for him!! BUT, as a member of an audience watching this dreck in hopes of being ENTERTAINED... whew. This ain't it. At least when ICP made their films, they were so utterly, beautifully STUPID that you had no choice but to laugh along with them. Heck, I wasn't even drunk when I watched Big Money Hustlas and it was still fun. This film? I would have to be SO DRUNK that I would just pass out before I could even sort of kind of maybe possibly be slightly "entertained". PAINFUL to watch. You'd think that after a career of doing songs about horror movies, this clown would maybe take the time to STUDY them enough before having such hubris about making one. Oy vey.

This seems like a movie that sounds like a good idea, in theory, but, best done as a trailer or music video. Or at very least, a limited edition movie poster.

I'm a big fan of low budget horror films, but this movie is ridiculous. I probably could have made something similar with my cell phone....lol. No. Just kidding. Is this movie supposed to be a comedy or a spoof? The plot was so shallow. The sound also seemed poor. Maybe that was because there was no background music? The silence between the the dialogue of the actors just seemed so noticeable to me. I had to struggle not to turn it off halfway through it.

Might be the worst movie I've ever seen. The first 20 minutes can be skipped without missing anything.there are no redeeming qualities in this movie. The acting is bad, the dialogue is bad, the sound editing is awful. I have no idea how they got Eli Roth and Dany Trejo into this lousy excuse of a movie.

Finally, Cinema is able to show us what a 70s grindhouse vampire/western might have looked like. From the start is looks like the movie is using, " purposeful incompetence ." Danzig is going after the look and feel of a cheezy, sleazy, grind house horror flick. He reproduces the imperfections down to the smallest detail. If you're able to recognize that early on you might enjoy the movie more.

Do you love Westerns? How about actors who make * dialogue seem like Shakespeare? Cinematography that looks like it was done on a home video camera from the 80s? There you go. I didn't even make it 30 minutes.

There's nothing to enjoy here. It feels like Glenn just ran into a bunch of has-beens and decided to shoot a movie in the desert that weekend. He raided the local Spirit Halloween, grabbed some black lights, crapped out an outline, grabbed a camera, and made the magic happen. I want to say that "I can't recommend" this movie, but I honestly recommend that you find it for free somewhere. I'm not suggesting any avenues with which to do so, but don't pay money to see this. It's worth watching just so you can say you've seen the worst movie of the past 25 years. I don't know, when did Rollergator come out? Glenn Danzig did provide, unintentionally, a very positive message from this turd: ANYBODY, literally ANYBODY, can direct a movie. Do you think you have a movie idea, but are afraid it will be bad? Stop. Go watch this movie and realize that you have a better gift for filmmaking that Glenn Danzig. You might not have the same means, but you absolutely have more talent. Get a Kickstarter going; Backerkit; GoFundMe. Do whatever you have to do to get your movie made. I guarantee it will be better than this.

I saw "Death Rider in the House of Vampires"-just the name itself was intriguing-starring Devon Sawa-Escape Plan:The Extractors, Final Destination; Julian Sands-The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Warlock; Kim Director-Split, Book of Shadows:Blair Witch 2 and Glenn Danzig-he is the founder of the rock group Danzig and this is his first movie to act in. This movie is written, produced & directed by Glenn Danzig, who also makes his acting debut in it, too-if you don't count the music videos he's done. This is his second film to direct, with 'Verotika' being his first. This movie is sort of like a 'B' grade-and I say that generously-vampire spaghetti western. The acting is bad, the camera shots end abruptly, some things are overly exaggerated, but the girls are nice to look at. The movie opens with Devon-Death Rider-riding with a girl tagging along, tied to a horse, and she seems to have lost her shirt somewhere. I must say that she is healthy, though. Devon is headed for a place called sanctuary and admission to the sanctuary is a virgin, so that explains the girl that Devon has with him. Julian is the head vampire of the sanctuary/business that has a bar that they use to lure in dinner guests-kind of like in 'From Dusk Til Dawn'. Kim is the head social director that keeps the girls in line and Glenn plays a frequent patron. There are a few cameos; Eli Roth, Sean 'X_Pac' Waltman and Danny Trejo. This movie is not for everyone but if you like 'B' grade movies-I do-you might enjoy it. It wasn't rated but I'm giving it an "R" for bloody gore, violence, language and nudity and it has a running time of 1 hour & 32 minutes. Like I said, it's not for everyone but I liked it and would buy it on DVD.