All Cheerleaders Die

source: All Cheerleaders Die

The poster looks pretty good. The trailer looks OK. Then I realized any small part of this movie worth watching had been crammed into a 90 second trailer. The sound is cheap. I had to turn my volume up to around 90 to hear anything with any real clarity. The effects are even cheaper - if you're going to kill people on the cheap you may as well throw some real dead bodies around the screen as I'm fairly certain their acting would at a minimum be on a par with what I was watching on screen. 45 minutes in I had to remind myself if I didn't claw my way to the end of this film I'd have wasted 45 minutes. In the end, as expected it turned out I'd wasted 90. Even the hot women couldn't save this movie. All Cheerleaders Die? After watching this I thought I might. Abysmal.

Finally, I've dug my way out of screeners for filmmakers and studios, and I'm able to review this one. I've been a fan of director Lucky McKee since his 2nd film, May. Most notably, he's the man behind The Woman, which came out in 2011 and made a name both for itself and him due to the graphic violence depicted, and all around being a very good movie. When I found out that Lucky was doing a new film, I instantly tweeted to him asking him three reasons people should watch All Cheerleaders Die, and he replied: These reasons weren't necessary for me, as I had already intended on renting it on VOD. And, unbeknownst to most, All Cheerleaders Die is Lucky's remake of his very first film of the same title. No one picked up on it being a remake because no one had heard of the original, which was a low-budget effort. All Cheerleaders Die starts off in a shocking way, and I didn't expect what happens at all. It's brutal in a turn-your-head way, but yet it's actually funny for some reason. I think the humor part comes from thinking that the cheerleaders deserve something nasty to happen to them, if only for their uppity and rude attitudes towards others and those less fortunate. After the devastation of the head cheerleader dying, the squad has tryouts. Without much appeal, Maddy (Caitlin Stasey) is promoted and given the part. However, Maddy's ex-girlfriend Leena (Sianoa Smit- McPhee) who's a "goth" and misunderstood, names her cat after Maddy and it gets sick. Leena sees this as a bad omen of things to come. When some football players discover that Maddy and Tracy (Brooke Butler) are hot for each other, it turns into a volatile situation that ends in all the cheerleaders dying. Only, they don't stay dead. They return to life after their blood touches Leena's psychic stones. When they awaken, they don't remember right away what happened, but they know something isn't right. They can feel it. And, they're hungry like never before, resulting in them eating a neighbor. Right before one of the jocks can confess to the involuntary manslaughter of the entire cheerleader squad, the girls show up to class looking perfect and ever-so-sexy. This brings surprise of good and bad to the faces of the football team responsible. The jocks are as rude and unlikable as the worst of the cheerleaders are, making it easy to wish them painful deaths at the hands of the zombified girls. However, the football team starts seeing weird things like the girls' lower backs glowing green, and know that something weird is indeed going on. Before the entire team is taken out, the girls' secret is exposed. The jocks fight back making the cheerleaders the victims yet-again, and it becomes an undead battle to permanent death for some of them. When the lead jock, Terry (Tom Williamson) decides to digest all of their collective power, he becomes the true enemy who must be stopped. And, he wants Leena to show him how to use her stones that brought the girls back to life in the first place. He must be stopped, and his death is more than deserved. The ending is a cliffhanger, which I did not expect. There's good news with that though; there's going to be a sequel! I really hope a part 2 happens after the way this one ends. Summing it up, All Cheerleaders Die is funny, over the top, sexy, gory, and all around entertaining. Lucky McKee does it again with another solid effort!

I was after the hot chicks and I love horror, Great Combo! but I got more then I wanted, Great story, love the twists, the action, Hot girls, killings and NUDITY! always a bonus. Bring on part 2. very excited. Gonna look up the direct for more films like this, also gonna look up on the original. Please comment on what you thought and if this review helped. This felt like an old film in a good way, originally story line with its slasher and horror but also like a black comedy.

honestly i am not gonna waste my time writing a long review about this because this film don't deserve it is nowhere near entertaining its just got some sexy chicks that's it but guess what it lacks all the fun you want in a teenage horror comedy flick is available here the whole film is misleading i am not saying i expected something out of this but this was trash. the story goes as few chicks get attacked at party by boys of the same school they fall in the river & die next morning all girls wake up & find out that Leena a friendly witch saved their life & made them all just like herself. now the plot goes real bad & takes a turn to the worst these girls have discovered they got powers but they are so dumb instead of focusing on the next plan on how to take out & kill the boys who attacked them they go to the same school again giving them another chance by doing stupid things & wasting the time the film tries hard to be smart but end up being stupid. let me say this again nothing happens throughout the film until the climax & sadly it is one of the worst ending to a film ever these young amateurs don't know how comedy & horror works these guys should have take a lesson from master Johnny Depp his films are proof he made a career out of doing comedy,horror & suspense flicks. even with all the flaws not matter how much you try to enjoy this hoping this would get better in the next scene no way its got all those useless things like lesbian kissing,cheap dialogs & overrating by everyone except the good script. and since when did witches started behaving like vampires by drinking large amount of blood,eat flesh etc,this film categorizes itself in horror is a insult to the genre. the biggest turn off is the climax you won't believe it but hell yes it is abrupt yes the whole ending is unfinished so you won't get to see what happens in the end who win & who loose don't matter the funny thing is these stupid witches can kill a lot of innocent people but fail to kill one bad guy i mean common the directors were on drugs when they filmed it,critics are paid to praise this nonsense. the cast:well what can i say its got a lot of sexy girls in it but they get wasted here i felt sad for them the filmmakers wasted their chance to do something good with this huge cast almost every character is dumb. Overall All Cheerleaders Die 2013 is a terrible lame & extremely boring film my rating is 2/10. just watch anything else but not this title i am warning you this film is a waste or money & time stay away.Skipp It

ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE (2013) ** Caitlin Stasey, Sianoa Smit-McPhee, Brooke Butler, Amanda Grace Cooper, Reanin Johannink,Tom Williamson, Chris Pertrovski, Leigh Parker, Nicholas S. Morrison, Jordan Wilson, Felisha Cooper. HEATHERS meets THE COVEN could've been the pitch for this meandering horror flick about a squad of high school cheerleaders left for dead after a car accident only to be revived by a Goth babe whose unrequited crush on another outsider come-popular hottie provides the reason for revenge upon the football team responsible. What could've been a ripe-for-the pickings black comedy instead is a rather pedestrian and anemic hodgepodge that's flat-footed attempts at shock with cheesy late '80s sfx and awe leaves little to be desired and the humor more cringe-worthy than hilarious. Written and directed by Chris Silvertson and Lucky McKee (the latter clearly disappointing here).

I won't waste time here. The only thing missing is an appearance from the ghost of Vincent Price. This is a remake of a 2001 film the producers sent straight to video because they couldn't get it distributed. Better to have left it mummified. Film school 101 effects. Awful dialog. All of the girls (especially) are way, way, way too old to be portraying high school cheerleaders. In short, it's dreadful. It almost seems they stopped by the nearest Hooters style restaurant, loaded up a van of the servers and decided to make a movie. Save yourselves from this.

Took me a while before I watched this one because people compared it with the teenage witch classic The Craft (1996) and somehow it does but it is a worth looking even if you aren't a teenager. All Cheerleaders Die takes it time before it all really starts but once it starts it does deliver the horror, it's low profile, I admit but you will keep watching it until the end. Evene as it is full of clichés, you know, the nerdie type who will solve the problem, the sexy chicks being killed. But once killed it all takes a strange turn. The ending is open as hell and normally it would deliver a second entry. I'm curious if it ever will come that far but if you want a no-brainer then pick this up, no gore at all but here and there it is showing us the red stuff. Gore 0/5 Nudity 0,5/5 Effects 2,5/5 Story 3/5 Comedy 0/5

Cheerleaders, zombies, and vampires? Could be fun. But it's NOT!!! Why does this film have such a high rating on IMDb? Because once again the studio has trolled this site with fake reviews and IMDb doesn't stop them! I just finished watching a critical analysis of 'Who's That Girl' and we did find a few funny gags to its credit. 'All Cheerleaders Die' has NO redeeming credits at all!!! That's how bad this film is. I enjoyed more or rather hated less 'Who's That Girl' than this film. The plot: I watched this film twice just to make sure I can honestly say this film has NO plot what so ever! That's how bad it is! Even after a second viewing I still cannot name a single character in this film! Alright, here's what happens: It opens with a bio video about a snobby slutty dumb Mulatto cheerleader. It never explains whom she's speaking to or why she's breaking the 4th wall she just talk to the camera. No, the school newspaper isn't doing a story on her she's just talking to the camera for no reason for the first five minutes of the film until she dies by breaking her neck. This character's life nor death serves no purpose to the rest of the film it's just the opening five minutes, this is one of these films where things just happen for no reason! Next a goth girl is dumped by her friend? Since it's NEVER explained who any of these characters are I presume they're friends? While out drinking in the woods they get into a verbal and then physical fight with the football team. Isn't the point of slutty cheerleaders and dumb jocks getting drunk in the woods to have sex? Not beat each other up? Anyway a car chase ensues and the cheerleaders are all drowned. The goth girl just happens along and is able to drag five 100 pound bodies back into the woods where she performs a Wicken spell which brings them back to life. The girls return to the goth girl's house where one of the characters is upset because her soul is in her sister's body. Again, since it's NEVER explained whom any of these characters are we don't know whom her sister is nor do we care. Although we do wonder, if there was a soul body mix up, wouldn't there be a second sister also upset about being in her sister's body? Well there isn't. The girls are apparently now cold fleshed zombies. Although if they have their souls back why are they zombies? Aren't zombies living bodies without souls? Whatever, let's just wrap this up, we're already 75% into the movie! No kidding! It takes over an hour just to get to the narrative hook. But this isn't 'Ben-Hur' it's still only 90 minutes. See? There is a God. The girls first eat a neighbor alive and then go back to school to kill some boys. Are these the same boys who caused the fatal car accident? We don't know! It's NEVER explained who any of these characters are! The token black quarterback shows back up. Yes, him we remember. He's the only black guy in this movie. He caused the accident. They kill him. The end. I didn't leave out a single detail. That's it! There is not a single interesting element in this whole film! There is nothing sexy, scary, or exciting. It isn't even entertaining on a base level like 'Sharknadeo.' If this and 'Who's That Girl?' are the only two films on TV, gauge your eyes out! No, seriously watch 'Who's That Girl?' This is just how bad 'All Cheerleaders Die' is!

Better than I'd heard. It has some major flaws. My guess is that there was some producer interference, because the set-up could have been better developed. It feels a tad chopped up. The whole horror premise is caused by vague, supernatural bullcrap that really could have used some better defining. Once it all gets going, though, the film is kind of fun. Four cheerleaders die in a car accident that's caused by the football stars. A goth teen (Sianoa Smit-McPhee) who once dated one of the cheerleaders (Caitlin Stasey) finds their bodies and brings them back to life through witchcraft. As with anything brought back from the dead, the cheerleaders become bloodthirsty monsters who want revenge. It's a pretty basic horror premise, but it works largely because of the very good cast. The other three cheerleaders are played by Brooke Butler, Amanda Grace Cooper and Reanin Johannik. The villain (the captain of the football team) is well played by Tom Williamson. Certainly not one of McKee's best works, but it's better than a majority of the horror films that are being released nowadays.