Cannibal Troll

So stupid and boring...

Wow I want my hour and 17 minutes back. This movie is horrible. The wet faced troll lives in a nice house with paintings on the walls and bullies some black girl for half the movie. When he's not bullying her, she's running away. Multiple times, but somehow he finds her. He doesnt speak. Meanwhile there are a group of girls in the nearby woods who, despite walking under a thick canopy of shade trees, spend 10 minutes putting sunscreen on! The acting is completely and totally non existent. This is worse than a middle school production. And it's all really surprising because Brit horror flicks these days always seem to be quirky and a bit funny with some decent characters. This movie has none of those.

I can't post the review until I type up at least 150 characters, so I will do the work that should've been done when naming the movie... Can·ni·bal noun an animal that feeds on flesh of its own species. I deduct one star retroactively, since you can't give 0 stars.

I wanted to see a troll devouring other trolls. A title like 'Cannibal Troll' would suggest that.... It isn't that. Very disappointing. I do not recommend.

Sadly let down by poor script and very low budget. The troll seems to live outside human society but in a shed made from machined timber and fitted with windows and mortise locks. The internal walls are even dry lined. Actors deliver their lines as if reading them for the first time, with no idea of context. Much is made in the opening scenes of compass directions - "Don't go north", "We will head south", yet nobody has a compass and their map reading skills are such that they do not initially notice that they are standing beside a 12th century church that is not on the map. Not that it matters anyway, since they never venture more than a few metres from their campsite, and are never away from waymarked paths, cultivated fields, tended grass. A sub-plot involves a cleric who dresses in full ecclesiastical garb to tend an unused church, while other sub-plots involve a husband-to-be who sounds like a caricature, a gay relationship, a pregnant woman who cannot find a man, the bride's mother turning up for the hen party without the bride's knowledge, captives who escape repeatedly from the troll but never go to the town that is visible from the viewpoint where much of the action takes place. The actor playing the mother appears in another film by the same director. The impression is one of a group of friends working together, making for a happy atmosphere and an enjoyable experience for participants, but scenes are padded out with meaningful pauses, silences, stares and huge overacting. The potential is there but the product is tiring to watch.

No, not a scream fest by the audience but by the astonishingly horrible women 'acting' in this movie where SCREAMING takes up at least half of this flick. I'll wager that after this wrapped everyone in this film except the troll spent a lot of money with an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor to nurse their vocal cords back to health. Idiotic plot and completely predictable. By halfway through I was fast forwarding to get to the 'good parts' but there were none. Skip it.

I don't think this film is as bad as the ratings, and reviews suggests. It's not the best, but I have certainly seen much worse, and much more amateur attempts. It's not bringing anything new, but it's entertaining. The picture quality is actually really good, and there's some lovely locations too. There was something going on with the sound though, it didn't quite match up with the mouths, and I think that effecting how the acting looked. Although the priest had some major overacting going on, but that was just a little funny. The title is a little misleading, the troll eats humans, not other trolls. I love that there was LGBTQ+ representation. That was a really nice touch to the story.

Cannibal troll, words cannot describe the terror you feel when watching this film. The constant dread that the evil and scary and evil cannibal troll is near. I actually cried when the cannibal troll first appeared. My wife's boyfriend covered his eyes in scare. This movie should not be 18+ it should be rated 80+ because you need dementia so it's not scary. Cannibal troll alone was enough to make me go into primal fight or flight and use my 16 inch Disney black series collectible Thor hammer to destroy my custom made 75 inch flat screen tv in my mega mansion tv watching room. I had to poop really bad, and the cannibal troll helped me release the fiery Mexican diarrhea fiesta in my bowels. 9/10, am only taking one off because I cried and puked and screamed at the terror and my grandpa oxygen tank blowed up out of fear.

Acting is bad, graphics is horrible, and the audio is the worse. Bad all around movie.

But a hopelessly unimpressive made horror movie of used up tricks and ideas that levaes you on the trail of damnation without guessing., sooo lets all see it come enbodied by 6 english lasses on a fieldtrip rural british countryside, the cannibal monster unveils itself already from the intro so no secret card held to the chest. Technically its pure average, though with mike shadows here and there and some blown away sound recordings. The acting aint strong, and the dry lips syndrome is highly vindictive and unfolds an actors incomprehensiveness and skill trough all that liplicking and wrinckled foreheads. So its a try and a bye from the grumpy old man. Not a recommend.